


Code Screaming Eagle

by BairnSidhe



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Code Screaming Eagle, Gen, OSHA needs to class resurrected American heroes as harmful to PR assistant's health, Pride Parade, Social Justice, basically now there are two of the fuckers, everybody panic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6091018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was bad enough dealing with one socially crusading, temporally displaced American hero as the Avengers PR team.</p><p>Now, now there's a new one.  What's his name?</p><p>Alexander Hamilton.</p><p>So just you wait.</p><p> </p><p>[AUTHOR NOTE: Basically on permanent Hiatus, but since it's a collection of loose one shots, it's not really finished either.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rogers redux

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MiriRainbowitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriRainbowitz/gifts).
  * Inspired by [talk less (or your publicist will strangle you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716030) by [BeggarWhoRides](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeggarWhoRides/pseuds/BeggarWhoRides). 



> MiriRainbowitz is an enabler. I place all blame there. Ok I get 12% of the blame, an argument could be made for 15.
> 
> This work is partially inspired by "talk less (or your publicist will strangle you)" by BeggarWhoRides and partially by "Steve Rogers: PR Disaster" by idiopathicsmile
> 
> Also yes, there is round the clock PR surveillance. Thin about it. The team has Tony cannot shut up to literally save my life Stark, Steve never met a social justice issue he wasn't pissed by Rogers, Bruce my superpower is anger issues Banner, Thor I am not of this realm and used to be diefied Odinson, Pietro and Wanda we used to be bad guys in a former soviet state Maximoff, Natasha what they said, but I'll do it in front of Congress Romanov, Bucky I used to kill people Barnes, Scott steals shit Lang and Clint human trainwreck Barton. Sam is the only Avenger not on a watch list.

So maybe New Yorkers are harder to surprise these days.  This was of course, after the infamous I am Iron Man speech, after Harlem hosted a no-holds barred MMA fight between giant angry…somethings, after the bombings at Stark Expo, after a dead Super Soldier running through Times Square, after Norse Gods and aliens and Sheild/Hydra leaks and _yet another_ dead WWII vet and Ultron and the Devil chilling in the Kitchen and a guy with mind-control getting ganked by a PI with _something_ freaky going on. 

Well after all that… a very confused, not really as white as previously assumed, resurrected founding father (who happened to have a musical) showing up on the streets of downtown Manhattan surprised exactly _nobody_.  He was calmly and firmly pointed to Avengers Tower, which although not the main staging area was where Pepper Potts lived and she could handle this.  In answer to any and all questions about the how and why and _I was dead, I got shot, I remember that_ the passersby would shrug philosophically and say “New York, man.  Weirdest city in the world.”

Alexander Hamilton was also hard to surprise but resurrection threw him a bit.  For just long enough to be herded into the main Avengers facility and introduced to the team, at which point he started asking questions.  Rapidly.  So rapidly that the white-blond gentleman in the grey shirt was the only one who could keep up. At which point he answered even faster and with a heavy accent of some kind.  Alex made a note to learn his native language. 

Eventually Steven, the muscular one with the shield just showed him how to operate a thing called Google with the words, “Have fun and what-ever you do don’t disable safe-search, trust me that was a bad idea.”

“You para-jump minus the para Steve,” pointed out the attractive red-headed woman whose smile reminded him of Angelica.  Angry Angelica, which was a smile he could have gone without seeing again.  Ever.

“Googling minus safe search was a _worse_ idea.  Jumping out a plane at terminal velocity goes bad and you don’t have to live it down, you just die.”

“This is about Stark and the Hentai thing, isn’t it?” asked a battered looking fellow in more purple than even Jefferson would have worn. What was his name again?

“I was looking for Hydra leads, Clint, how was I supposed to know googling ‘squid Nazis’ would pull up dirty pictures!”

“Rule 34” replied Clint.

Alex tuned them out and got caught up on the history of the country he helped build.

<^^>

At two AM Miri Moskowitz, head of Avengers PR, got a panicked call from the PA on shift.  The PR manager sighed and said “calm down, Liz, whatever Rogers did this time can be fixed.  It can always be fixed.”

“It’s not Rogers, ma’am.  It’s Hamilton.  The resurrected founding father we brought in yesterday?  He wrote a thirty page essay comparing Ted Cruz to King George but with and I quote “even less style if such a thing is within the bounds of natural law” and implying that if Trump got elected he’d start another Revolutionary War using the Avengers.”

“In the twelve hours he’s had access to a computer?”

“In six, and it was live on the internet for three before we found it.  I had to call Lewis to get it down.”

“Good God.  It’s a Rogers redux.  Call everyone; we have a Code Screaming Eagle.”


	2. Orphan Immigrants Generally Disagree With GOP Pundits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone made the mistake of letting Alex near a TV during a political commentary show.
> 
> Alex has some Opinions, Steve has 'helpful' advice, and their PR assistant just wants both of them to talk less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for tehhumi, CeruleanTactician, Imaginationispowerful, Shadytail, AJRainbowz (DarkEvilSoul), Writemeariver, Dadington_and_the_Washingsons, BeggarWhoRides, alkalinekiwi, AwwKeyboardNo, thehopelessheart, Lokis_Little_Servant, kosmickween, AARONSBURRR, mimijones, Bookbat, Turq8, MiriRainbowitz, and Maedae84 for kudos and additionally to MiriRainbowitz, BeggarWhoRides, treefrogie84, and Maedae84 for comments.
> 
> Anybody who feels like there's a thing Hamilton or another Avenger ought to get incensed over, let me know.  
> Also we are now going to play "Spot That Quote"

“Mr. Hamilton you may not challenge that man to a duel,” Bob, the PR minion currently covering the Code Screaming Eagle situation said.  “Dueling has been illegal for over a century.  It’s just called murder now.”

“What he _said_ ought to be illegal!  Immigrants go home?  I’m an immigrant!  Technically, aside from the First Nations we're _all_ immigrants!  What news show were you even watching, Robert?”

“Same as you, but he has rights, the press has rights.  Freedom of speech, wasn’t that a bit of a big deal for you back in the day?”

“Free speech also means I can call him a cankerous blight on humanity that should be put down for the safety of all.  He is blatantly _misusing_ the freedoms given in the first amendment and broadcasting his drivel contradicts the eighth.  I did not get into bed with _James fucking_ _Madison_ for him to do this with the bill of rights.  Politically I mean, there is no power on God’s green earth could have gotten me in bed with him _literally_.”

“If it helps any, Mr. O'Reilly is ancient and running mostly on spite at this point,” Steve offered helpfully.  A migraine began to form behind Bob’s eyes, Steve’s 'helpful voice' only led to trouble.  Like the infamous 'helpful' explanation of polio, scarlet fever, and measles symptoms to an anti-vaxxer.  “You can borrow one of my photo targets of him to blow off some steam if you need to.  I had them made after he took a crack at single mothers who weren't born here.”  Bob glared at the Super Soldier.

“Wha'?  's my Ma he was talkin' crap 'bout.” Steve groused in Brooklynese.  “Not like I shot the guy himself, even if he did deserve it for insulting somebody's ma.  Ma's are off limits, always have been.”

“Captain Rogers, you may never again mention any photo based targets shooting or otherwise that may or may not belong to you.”

“You are worse than Burr, sir.”

“Did you just quote…? You've only been alive for twenty four hours!  Those tickets are impossible to get!! How did you watch…?”

“Cast recording on YouTube, listened to it while I wrote.  Did you know some of those fans were very perceptive about my sexuality and the nature of my relationships with the group commonly called the 'Hamilsquad'?”

“You googled yourself, didn't you?”

“I believe the current term is 'duh'.  Also I wish to attend a Ham 4 Ham showing to thank Mr. Miranda personally, can you schedule that?”

“I am your PR assistant not your personal assistant.  Which would similar to your idea of a secretary.”

“Do I _have_ one of those?”

“Not anymore you don't.”  He’d tell Kate she was getting off easy not getting the promotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bairnsidhe on tumblr, feel free to come wail at me over the sweet yet reckless babbus that are the Avengers and the Hamilsquad.
> 
> Comments are golden!


	3. Nobody Goes to Pride in Body Glitter by Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anybody ever assumed a founding father and a WWII vet would be anti-gay rights, well depending on which ones, maybe but not these two.
> 
> Raise a glass to freedom, and to Bucky's ass in leather pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow guys the responses have been great. Lets hear it for arolfe, xavsherr, Lilith_Child, haunteddragon, jasthetexican, In Joke Taken (In_Joke_Taken), Possum33, Ophelia_Bleakforest, Dorkangel, herowndeliverance (atheilen), ArcaneAdagio, Puzzlequeer, treefrogie84, Forever_A_Thief, and raven_aorla who left kudos and Puzzlequeer, Maedae84 and IndecisiveHannahK for commenting on that last chapter.
> 
> Also Alex was wearing the Pansexual Pride colors and Steve was wearing the Bisexual ones. Bucky was wearing no glitter, at first....

 

“Just read the speech, please” begged the newest PR minion.  “It’s _just_ talking, you’re good at talking,” she said with the desperate hope of someone who sees the battle is already lost.

“It’s _just_ lies of omission and half-truths and I will not stand for it.”

“It reminds people you’re a founding father and Captain Rogers is an American hero.”

“It implies that we were there accidentally.  I cannot, no I simply refuse, to believe the American body public is so blind that they’d actually _believe_ we went to a Pride Parade _shirtless_ and covered in _color coded body glitter_ carrying Out-And-Proud signs _accidentally_.”

Steve looked up from his tablet and the oncoming shitstorm hit possible supercluster.

“It was **really** not an accident.  And there’s a picture of me kissing Buck on the Pride Rally website.  But I made sure it wasn’t the one with his hand in my pants.  It’s kind of artsy and tasteful; I like what you did with the filters Alex.”

“You are most welcome, Steve.  You _did_ save the pants one though?”

“Duh.  ‘s hot and Buck can’t always come on missions with me.  Need something to keep the nights warm.”

“Good, good, I just didn’t want to waste the framing, I’m not honing in I swear but his ass ought to be a national monument.”

“Buck and I are secure in our relationship, and I agree.  Only good thing Hydra ever did was introduce the idea of Bucky in leather pants.”

“Additionally I met some very interesting people who helped me understand my polyamorous nature there.  They were quite kind in their assistance and I will not abandon them.  We’ll never be truly free until those-

“Do. Not. Quote. The musical.”  Bob had warned everyone about this and now the cast recording was mandatory reading for the press team.  Copy write lawsuits would not play out well.

“And that next line really sounds like it’s about something _very different_ out of context,” Steve said, which was true, but…

“Captain have you been googling without safe-search again?”  Letting the Captain google without restriction led to some of the more notable incidents.

“No ma’am.”  Aside he whispers to Alex, “There’s this site, for transformative fiction, I can rec you some good stuff.  Buck and I get some of the _best_ ideas there.”

Alex shoots him two thumbs up and the PR assistant on duty facepalms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know the line Alex is prevented from quoting is "Until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me."


	4. Abolitionist Tendencies Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Steve and Alex get arrested at a protest.
> 
> They'd be less irritating to manage if they weren't always right, but they keep winning anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Rainne, VividEscapist, Cloudnine101, Rodian, dancer4813, cheatingTHEsystem, FluidMagyck, videogamedoc87, nypinta, SheWhoSaunters, RoseEStuart (CharmingRays), and MagpieMorality, for kudos, and to treefrogie84 IndecisiveHannahK, nypinta, Danni_Lea, Maedae84, MiriRainbowitz, and alkalinekiwi for comments.
> 
> Tell me what other shenanigans these two punks oughta get into. Or who else should join them in driving PR into an early grave.

For many PR problems the Avengers created it was easy enough to dispatch an assistant.  But when Captain America, The Falcon, and a founding father who had rapidly become more of an Avenger than a rescue case landed behind bars, that… well that called for the head of the department.

Miri looked at the two national icons and Sam through the bars.

“Just what do you two have to say for yourselves?”

“Gabe Jones as a good friend and he would be damn proud of me for showing up, and as for the subject of the protest himself, that murdering disgrace to the badge can suck it, pardon the language ma’am,” Steve says immediately.

“If Laurens were here,” Alexander drawls suggestively, “there _would_ be sucking going on, but not like that.”

They fistbump.  Neither looks repentant.

“Sam?  I thought you had more sense.  You're the level one!”

“I’m Black.  I’m not exactly _neutral_ on this issue.  And if the folks that wind up shooting at Steve always wind up shooting at me, he can return the favor every now and again.  And I’m not sorry for standing up for my rights, for my family and everybody who ever got hurt cause someone didn’t like our color.  Steve said the price of freedom was high, and it is, but I’ll pay it any time the toll comes due.”

No joy to be had from Sam, Miri turns to Barnes and raises an eloquent eyebrow that says volumes.  Just because he got away from the police at the Black Lives Matter protest doesn’t mean he wasn’t also on her shit-list.  So were Tony and Rhodey, but they wisely hightailed it to Miami so their pain would come later.

“Well Barnes?  How do you feel about your boyfriend here?”

“Not as bad as the riot when Cradle Will Rock got censored, honestly.”

“ _What_ got censored?” asked Alex pointedly.

“Pro-labor union musical.”  Bucky shrugs. “They pulled it cause of ‘civil unrest’ and unsurprisingly there was a riot.  Stevie got his hands cut up on window glass.”

“They make the best musicals these days,” ponders Alex.  “It’s all about the story; who lives who dies…”

“Are you determined to give me an aneurism?”

“We’re sorry,” chorus the two (not at all sorry) American heroes.  It sounds rehearsed.

“No you aren’t ya punks.  Sorry for these two, Ms. Moskowitz.  Ain’t apologizing for Wilson."  Sam's smile is like the sun.  "He did good out there and I’m only apologizing for Stevie and Alex acting like dumb punks instead of smart, informed citizens who have a right to protest injustice in this country.”

“Buck’s right, Alex.  Sass is fun but it doesn’t make our point well.”

“Give me a laptop and I’ll put something sass-free up defending our stance.”

“Not without me reading it first, Hamilton.  I’m watching you two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, all the Avengers were there but Clint and Nat are spyssassins who can do disguises, Wanda can make people forget her and Pietro's faces, Thor has intergalactic diplomatic...he's hard to explain so everyone gets really selective memory about him and Darcy made sure he knew to just stay in the back handing out water like a good ally, and Bruce blends really well after all that time on the run, and Scott just shrank and left when the arrests started 'cause he has a record.


	5. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Steve and Bucky run away to Florida, something that should have happened a long time ago happens and PR's newest minion shows up in the room where it happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To so many people. To breadandroses, pansexual_prosecutor, Ook, idioticonion, tigrislilium, Pirategal90, azrielen, Miranda178, wecanmakesomesense, ducksndragons, and DarkBlue1836, for kudos, and to AJRainbowz, Maedae84, nypinta, raven_aorla, Lokis_Little_Servant, MiriRainbowitz, Miranda178 and tigrislilium for comments.
> 
> I tried to work as many ideas in as possible.
> 
> Also ten points to the person who can name the bar.

“It’s called mic check,” Darcy explained.  “You yell ‘mic check’ and then the people around you repeat it until everybody knows you’re going to speak.  Then you say a few words and let people shout them after you until the group has heard, then the next few and so on.”

“Mic check, got it.”

“And you’ll need to keep first aid equipment on you, those guys can get rough with protesters,” Bruce said.  “I packed a bag, instructions in the lid.  Tony, Betty and I adapted a good tear-gas cure and some fast acting antibiotic patches for punctures.”

“Here’s an air-horn, sound it off if you see brutality so others can come help you, and don’t forget to wear the head-cam Tony made.  Try to catch badge numbers, I’ll look them up later,” said Natasha.  Her grin was still terrifying.

“My Miami home is open to you and anybody else who needs to crash afterwards, Jarvis can get you what you need.”

“I called a lawyer guy I know for legal tips, since they might have changed since your day, so here’s a comprehensive list of rights of protesters and good responses to verbal threats.”

“How do you know a lawyer Clint?”

“We hang out in the same places, sometimes.”

“Here’s the number of a therapist in Miami willing to work with trauma from immigrating,” Sam offered.  “Try not to throw the first punch.”

“I’d go with but that PR head scares me” Scott admitted.  “She’s gonna hit the fan when she finds out you’re at an immigration reform rally in Florida instead of a Hydra base in Denmark.  Hope said she’d fly down to pay bail if you need it.  Her number’s in your pocket.”

“This is all very appreciated my friends.  I hope my need to support others like me seeking better lives doesn’t interrupt your mission.”

“We’ve all done more with less,” Natasha reassured him.  “This is something you need.”

“Where is Steve?” asked Alex.  “I would have expected him.”

“He and Bucky are loading the quinjet,” Darcy told him.  “They’re flying down with you so Steve can put up some guerrilla art thing.  I think it's posters, but it might be a mural.  He’s been hush-hush about it.”

“Guerrilla art?”

“Politically motivated art placed publically to make a point,” Steve said from the door to the hangar.  “Been doing it in New York for ages.  That Four-Horsemen of Ignorance north of Times Square was me.  Time to hit Florida in support of immigration.  Or did you forget Buck and I are second gen?”

Two weeks of marches, sit ins, rallies and a very memorable-if-not-for-the-hangover fundraising party at Stark’s place later, Alex canceled the latest attempt of PR to get his attention on his phone.  He and Steve and Bucky were sitting in a pleasant bar in Key West, and Steve had just gotten down on one knee.

“We’re at Mile Zero, Buck.  The actual, literal end of the line.  We always said we’d be together to the end of the line.  How’s about you and me make that _beyond_ the end of the line?”

“Well, Punk, now I _gotta_ say yes,, you big sap.”

“Never _have to_ Bucky, not again.”

“I AM sayin’ yes, you idiot.  You walked into Hell for me.  Remember what I said then, _not without you_.”

“Whoooop!”  Alex cried.  “Everybody, drinks are on me, it took these losers eighty years to get engaged and we are DRINKING!!”

“Toast!” cried someone and a rain of glasses hit a fireplace for no discernable reason.

“To the story of tonight,” said a petite woman in a suit and a hijab.  She held out her hand.  “Alina El-Amin, I’m from PR.”

“Oh God,” came three sighs.

“You can drink tonight, but I’m handling the press statement.”

"Yes ma'am."

"But Buck..."

"Say yes and I'll let you-"

"DO NOT SAY THAT IN PUBLIC!!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Alex cause a scene, but as long as they get on the fricken stage and read the script for the press, Alina will be satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short because RL is kicking my hiney.
> 
> Also if anyone wants to do a chapter or a short or something in the Slow Insanity of the PR Department by Way of Resurrected American Heroes, let me know and I'll add you as a co-author or link our works. Come, play in my sandbox.

“I _should_ be yelling at you for causing a scene right now.”

“Miss El-Amin, that knavish poltroon disrespected you and your faith.  Your hijab is a sacred part of your religion and you have a right to both the belief in your chosen spiritual path and all the symbols thereof.  Moreover, you use bobby pins to hold in down and I know how much having a thing pinned to your hair pulled hurts.”  Alina raised an eyebrow.  “We all wore wigs and there might have been a hair-pulling fight once or twice," Alex defended.  Then he thought a moment.  "Or twenty five.”

“My Ma didn’t raise me to let a guy hurt a girl if I could stop it.  He had no right to grab you, but I apologize if you would rather have hit him yourself, ma'am.  Peggy taught me better than to assume a woman needs the protection of a man.”  And he really did sound sorry.  For once.

“No thanks, Islam teaches pacifism and tolerance.”

“I guess it is favorable fortune that I’m agnostic and Steven here is a Catholic then.” Alex smiles at her with his eyes, and she sort of understands why they were notable enough to get brought up in biographies.  However, he fails to look at all sorry for breaking a man’s nose, and that sort of ruins it. “I admit it would be rather hard to imagine either of us throwing away our shot.”

“I’m not even going to yell at you for quoting the musical, even though you _know_ we told you not to, because that is how _tolerant_ and _peaceful_ I am.  So very tolerant.  My mother would be proud of how tolerant and peaceful I am.  Now _get on the stage_ and read the script about diversity in the Avengers and, gentlemen?  Do. **Not**. Deviate. From. The. Script.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“At once, Miss El-Amin.” 

Both of them had enough experience with smart and strong willed women not to argue.  Alina smiled as the trouble-twins scampered to the stage.  She may have just won the department betting pool on who would be the first to break them.  She knew reading up on Peggy Carter and the Schuyler sisters would pay off.  She patted her Kindle for good luck keeping things together.

It lasted until someone asked a question.  Well, the office pool would still be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is golden.


	7. PR Sees You When You're Slee- Alex go to bed and stop this nonsense.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PR knows everything, Alex is a little shit and also a great guy he just wouldn't know good press if it challenged him to a duel, and something's going to give soon.
> 
> Ladies and gentlemen, you coulda been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City. Are you ready for a PR meeting???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless inspiration strikes me or somebody does something crazy like fan art that I have to respond to, this is our last chapter.   
> That said, thank you to everybody who left a kudo or a comment, to everyone who subscribed, to everyone who recommended it to friends, to everybody who almost died choking on food or trying not to laugh at work. Miri started this but you guys made it worth writing.   
> As said before, anyone who wants to play in this sandbox is welcome. I'll add you as a co-author if you want to add a chapter, or we can link works in a collection.

In the deeps of the PR department’s offices, Miri faced a not at all ashamed founding father and general nuisance.

“Exactly why am I not surprised there is now a John Laurens Memorial Center for Disenfranchised Youth?”

“Because the homeless and impoverished youth rates in this city are an abomination, and I did not die for this.”

“And the Mulligan Foundation?”

“Do you know how badly funded trade schools are now?  It’s a disgrace.”

“Lafayette School for Language Education and Cultural Exchange?”

“Xenophobia is a terrible thing.”

Miri sighed, before bringing up the real kick in the teeth.

“What about the Aaron Burr Commemorative Leadership seminars and Scholarship programs?”

He pauses, obviously trying to think of a good lie.  He shrugs, giving up.

“I’m petty.  And kinda mega loaded because I appear to be the only person on the planet that truly understands the US economic system and day trading is easy compared to inventing the system itself, but I did invent it so I can exploit the loopholes.”

“Don’t ever admit that part where anyone can hear you,” she said automatically.  Then Miri paused with an evil grin.  “I bet he’ll hit 10,000 rpms in his grave if you tell people that he’d have wanted decisive leadership skills as his legacy.”

Alex looked at her in open shock.

“I’m petty too.  And not above using that to give you better PR and you need that after the Tweet War with the Tea Party.  Next time you pull this sort of thing, tell me so I can get you better press.”

“You aren’t mad?”

“No.   I just want to do my job and help people _like_  you and you make that harder than it needs to be.  Honestly all the things you do at 2 am when only you or Stark would be awake are good things.  Helping the disenfranchised, supporting critical educational areas that fall through the cracks, even the petty Burr thing, those are all good things.  They help people.  So let me help you help them.”

“I lost my son to trying to save my legacy.  I didn’t want anyone else getting burned.  The musical was right, you know.  Angie called me an Icarus and told me I would ignite anyone too close to me.”

“Tony has a fire-extinguisher happy robot.  We’ll be all right.”

“So, you’re saying the world is big enough?”

“I’m saying you’re not my first lil’ shit.  And you, sir, are a lil’ shit.  Just let us help you.  That would be enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is always open. I'm bairnsidhe there as well as here.


	8. Bonus Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please direct yourself to my Patreon to get a new aside chapter. It didn't fit thematically, so I'm putting it there, because I am also very broke. Any pledge will unlock it, no matter how small. Every bit helps.

Mother's Day with Sad American Heroes

 

To be found on http://patreon.com/bairnsidhe


	9. One War Was Enough, Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, How Alexander Hamilton rapped and soul'd the heroes of the Marvel Unviverse into not being giant idiots.
> 
> Superhero versus Superhero? That really is a new kind of stupid.

The Sokovia Accords were some of the worst made, worst advised, sloppily legislated pieces of drivel Alex had ever seen.  Even the name stank to high heaven of psychological manipulation.  But he wasn’t about to let the team rip itself apart.  Some things came first.

With Ms. Moskowitz on his side he arranged a small leak of some of the worst parts of the Accords online.  Public sentiment sided with him in saying they were idiotic and beyond irresponsible.  With Mr. Miranda’s help, he arranged to be a guest at a Ham4Ham show.

“Hello, hello, hello,” came the common greeting, Alex listened as Mr. Miranda thanked the fans for coming and announced a very special guest.  Alex had chosen to wear tinted lenses, which he immediately decided was a fantastic idea as the wall of sound hit him and about one thousand lights exploded.

“Thank you for having me, Mr. Miranda,” he said politely into his microphone as more people screamed.  Good lord, this is why he wasn’t a stage actor.  That and a complete inability to stick to scripts he didn’t write.

“Oh, trust me, the pleasure is ours.  Now, I happened to hear you are a fan of the show, and that you’ve created, 219 years after the fact, a reprise of a song we had in the off Broadway production.”

“I have.  Because someone, _cough_ Tony _cough_ , isn’t returning my calls.  This seemed a good way to get his attention.”

“Seriously?  _Tony Stark_ hasn’t been returning your calls, so you wrote a _rap battle_?”

Alex shrugged.  Then, landing softly in a three point landing, Iron Man stood up.

“I cannot believe you dragged this into public.  With Ham4Ham, no less.  Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I got resurrected and apparently can no longer die.  I gave up on sacred some long ways back, Anthony.”

He saw Tony flinch even in the suit.  “The Accords are necessary.”

“Your father said the same of Little Boy and Fat Man.  Do you want your copy of the script or not?”

Tony tore the pages offered from Alex’s unresisting hand.  “Fine, let’s jam.”

“Alexander,” he sang, and Alex thought he caught Friday modulating for him.  He’d spoken with her, she’d agreed to get him there, hopefully she’s keep him on script, Alex thought with irony.  
  
“Anthony,” he sang.  Then he shifted and hopped up a step to pull his best Angelica fury and channel it into Ms. Goldsberry’s fast paced spoken verse.

“Congratulations,  
You have invented a new kind of stupid  
A 'damage you can never undo' kind of stupid  
An 'open all the cages in the zoo' kind of stupid  
Truly, you didn't think this through? For a smart man, that's kind of stupid.  
Let's do a skim review, not deep just the crust  
You took the word of a man few trust usually because they must, and backed it by smearing an action of necessity with battle lust  
You were begged to take a break, and you refused to  
So scared of what your enemies might do to you  
You're the only enemy you ever really to lose to  
Some day this will bite you on the metal plated ass  
The trap is practically as transparent as glass!  
So yeah, congratulations!”

“Alex,” Tony said, strained, and it wasn’t his script that made him do it.

“You've redefined your legacy, _again_  
Merchant of Death, Iron Man, Ross’s Pawn.  
Congratulations”

“The Accords are an act of political sacrifice!”  Alex could hear Friday pushing the words in Tony’s voice.  Quite a talented little synthetic actress, although possibly less synthetic than certain human ones.  
  
“Sacrifice?  
I lived and died and found my way here  
I fought beside the Avengers  
I look at you and think 'God, what have we done with our lives and what did it get us?'  
That doesn't wipe the tears or the years away  
No matter how it happened,  
I'm back in the city and I'm here to stay  
And you know what I'm here to do?”

“Alex, please,” Tony had overridden Friday for now.

“I'm not here for you  
I know Rogers like I know my own mind  
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind  
And a million years ago he walked into hell and said 'this one's _mine_ '  
So I cannot just stand by  
Do you know why?  
I loved many more than one thing in my old life  
I lost a brother close as breath in a time of strife  
I forgot to choose Eliza’s happiness over mine every time  
My arms were drenched in blood as my son died  
And when I see how he hurts, how he searches,  
I know what stays the same in all times  
Our family.”

“The Avengers,” Tony corrected him.

“Call it what you want, Anthony, doesn’t change that  
It is the best thing in our lives  
So never lose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with the best life  
Congratulations  
For the rest of your blessed life  
Every sacrifice you make is for our family  
Give them the best life  
Congratulations.”

Applause erupted.  Alex took off his headset.  Tony flipped up the visor.  He was crying.

“I want to, Alex, I just don’t want to be the threat again.”

“Well maybe it’s not your turn, smart-ass.  Maybe it’s my turn to turn the world upside down.  It’s been a while since I had an international incident attributed to me.  Yorktown, I think,” he mused.

“We gotta get to Steve.  He’s probably going ape-shit with his pal on the lam again.”

“I know where he is.”

“WHAT?”

“Mr. Lang and Airman Wilson have been helping.  They also think this fight is a new kind of stupid.”

<^^>

In a dank warehouse Steve was beginning to think Sam was stalling him with the devil’s advocate shit.  The plan was sound.  Until Alex walked in.

“Steven.”

“Alex.  I saw your Ham4Ham.  Nice work on demolishing Tony.”

“Steve, you’re an idiot.  I only did his publicly because your image is more fragile than his.  But you have your own lecture coming, son.”

“Don’t call me son,” he snaps, the same furious anger of a man who never had a father pulling into a verse from the musical.  Alex had prepared something else, but he saw it had been written for Captain America.  He needed to reach Steve Rogers.

“This life is hard enough without infighting,  
Tony called you out, you called his bluff,  
But you solve nothing, you’re thinking with your head down south.” He shot a pointed look at Barnes, who even looking like something the Hudson coughed up, was fiiiiine.  Suddenly, Alex knew what words to use.  Steve was brimming with anger.  He never saw the soft sound of Alex singing an off key lament coming.

“When I’m not fighting beside you,  
I spend hours in the garden  
I walk alone to the store  
And it’s quiet upstate  
I never liked the quiet before  
I remember my family on Sunday  
A church with a cross at the door  
And I used to pray  
That doesn’t happen anymore.”

“Alex, please understand, for pity’s sake, you might be the only…. If it was Laurens, what would you do?’

“If you see him in the street, walking  
By himself, talking to himself, have pity.

John, you would hate it upstate,  
It’s fucking  _quiet_ upstate.

We are working through the unimaginable.  
The world went grey, we see it everyday  
I miss the bright lights of the city

Look at where you are, look at where you started.  
They can say he doesn’t deserve you, Steven  
But hear me out, that would be enough.  
If I could spare his pain  
Buy away his damage for my life  
He’d be whole right now  
And you would smile, and it would be enough

Don’t pretend you know  
The challenges you’re facing  
There is no replacing what time we’ve lost  
And you need that time  
But I’m not afraid  
I know who I followed  
Just come back to my side

That would be enough.”

“Alex, don’t.  This is too important.”

“Of course it is.  It’s the unimaginable.  Do you know what I’d do, what I’d sell away, give up, agree to, if it got me Eliza, or John, or Angie, or Lafayette or Mulligan or hell, even _Burr_?  You have been blessed.  And a young man of my acquaintance has shared with me some advice on the subject of unexpected blessings.  With great power, comes great responsibility.  Is this,” he gestured at the warehouse, the plans, all of it, “is this responsible?  Is this what Peggy would want?  You, hiding, fighting your friends, underground, a traitor.  Or would she want you to stand the fuck up to Ross and every other bully like him in a place where everyone is watching and no-one can call foul?  A place like, say, a court room?”

“For the stuff they’re accusing Buck of, you’d need a hell of a lawyer.”

“What about a lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen?” sounded a voice behind Alex.  “Sorry I’m late, Stark’s jet isn’t ADA compatible and I got trapped in, I think, a collapsing bed.  Matt Murdock, Attorney at Law, and yes, I have heard every single blind justice joke ever.”

“Matt!”

“Clint?”

“Dude!”

“Why are you hugging him, Matt, why is someone not me hugging you?”

“Apologies, Mr. Nelson, Barton’s a hugger.  Three, two,”

“Ahh!”

“So, Tony paid these young men a rather exorbitant fee to defend Bucky for you in court.  He wants to make up.  Words aren’t his strong suit.  So he hired men whose livelihoods are words.  I’d help, but I haven’t retaken the bar yet.  I’ll be the para-legal instead.”

<^^>

“In a landmark case, newbie lawyers Nelson and Murdock sweep away the court and get mandated in-house de-brainwashing instead of jail or the needle for Bucky Barnes, tell me Steve, what will you do next?” Tony asked Steve.  They’d made up when Steve saw how hard Tony shut down Ross, sic’ing his own legal team on restraining orders for him and asking Alex, Pepper and Natasha to redraft the Accords into something less superweapon-ish.

“Well, I think I’ll ask that guy what his issue is.”

“T’Challa?  Don’t bother, the evidence regarding Zola is irritating him.  He wanted to have someone to blame for his father’s passing,” Alex explained.  “He’s bitter that our team got him first.”

“Oh.”  Steve went over to him.  “T’Challa, right?  Buy you a beer?  Maybe accidentally write down the coordinates of the secure location of the man who murdered your dad to frame my friend?”

“This….  Is kind, but not what my father would wish.  He would wish a strong and calm leader to take his place.  I do not know if I am that man yet, but vengeance would only set my goals back.”

“You can come punch bad guys with us sometime if you want?” offered Clint from the ducts.  “In the meantime, hide, I saw your security lady and Nat take Vodka and some Wakandan booze into a side room.  They will either get on like a house on fire, set our house on fire, or both.”

“I think we had best evacuate the area, Captain.”

“Yeah, Alex, your voice carries best.”

“EVERYBODY OUT!”

“And you said it was quiet upstate.”


End file.
